Monday, July 19, 2010

A Summer Obsession To Live By

"If you feel great, look great? Awesome night, baby."

As is usually the case with trendy pop culture, I was late to the Jersey Shore movement. Since the ever increasing ignorant debacles known as "Flavor of Love," I Love New York," and "For the Love of Ray J", I tried to rebuke most MTV and VH1 shows in the name of Hayseuss. I'm surprised I, along with millions of other Americans, have not become completely brain dead from watching this trash continuously and relentlessly. So I decided to regain my dignity and proper neural processing by staying away from the Axis of Evil, aka Viacomm-owned TV stations... But then comes talk of "The Situation" and "grenades" and "GTL"--I couldn't resist the urge to know wth was going on with this Jersey Shore business. And, thus, the relapse of a sucker for reality TV commenced. *smh*

As I watched these self-proclaimed Guidos make a fool of themselves on a national stage, I couldn't help but feel ashamed to be entertained by such foolishness. I mean, what woman in her right mind purposely goes out to look for something called a "juice-head"? And what hetero man is going to do something called a "fist pump" as their mating ritual in the club to get their party started and continued?? Perhaps they're just uber comfortable with their sexuality? I mean they must be to engage in gym-tanning-laundry rules all day every day to GET girls to hook up with them. It all seemed too ridiculous to be anyone's reality.

That is.... until I started living by the same rules! *facepalm* Am I secretly a-guido/guidette wannabe?!?!?! Unintentionally, my life has become consumed with going to the gym, tanning, and laundry (either doing it or fussing over whats clean in my closet). And oddly enough, my need to GTL fits into all of my Summer Dating Training Camp plans. How did I completely miss that I was a GTL-fiend when writing that list? This realization made my IQ fall slightly. And I get offended when other folks don't join me on my quest to GTL-it up. But I'm not going to be ashamed!!! I have goals to accomplish, dammit!! I definitely need to get/stay in shape and I finally have a work-out partner who is as determined as I am to "get it right get it tight" on the physique front. With our new strength training plan added to our cardio routine, I should be trim and toned in no time! Because I happen to not be blessed with rich brown skin, I take every opportunity, when appropriate, to expose my skin to the sun's rays (by wearing as little clothes as possible without looking like a floozy).  Be it for a run around the neighborhood (shorts instead of the pants I wear to the gym), a walk on my lunch break (I prefer sleeveless, leg-exposing clothes to wear to work these days), or just hanging by the pool--I want sun kissed caramel skin!! Of all my friends, I'm the only one who actually LIKES to stand directly in the sun on a hot day so I can get my tan on. And laundry? Well I definitely don't do it every day, but since I now have washer/dryer in my place, I do laundry quite frequently. Even when laundry isn't actually being done, I am constantly concerned with having enough clean clothes since I change clothes multiple times a day for bed, for work, for the gym, and for after work/gym chillin. Besides, it's extremely hot and the constant sweating makes it absolutely necessary to change clothes regularly to stay fresh. (sidenote: ugh, sweating outside of the gym is so gross).

So, does my constant practice of GTL make me a guido-wannabe? A Gemmy-uido? Are you ashamed to know me because I am basically the black manifestation of Jersey Shore? Or is it perfectly acceptable for ppl to adopt a pattern in life that helps (or you think helps) improve your life or outlook on life? Do you currently ever obsess over anything, or have a daily ritual that you generally follow without fail? For example, my labmates, who are also stans of Jersey Short, have a version of GTL that they call LCB (lab, carts, bus)--lab for work to agonize over the same daggone experiments, daily trips to the Thai and Indian food carts by our lab for lunch, and taking the bus to/from home. They've even recruited a new grad student to the LCB ritual lol.

What say YOU?

~Gym-head Gemmie


  1. I've never watched "Jersey Shore" and never will but I do support (and personally adopt) your GLT plan. I'm already mocha colored but I long for the deep chocolate of my college days...I miss Alabama for so many reasons :(

    Sidebar: I've missed you (especially on Friday) so I'm glad you're back!!

  2. Yep, I was sucka'd into Jersey Shore much like you. I don't think you're the black embodiment of a guidette, as these people clearly have nothing else going on in their lives but this ish. There's nothing wrong with any of that, especially if it is improving your life (as long as you aren't looking to get skin cancer by staying in the sun too long). Just don't make it your everything.

  3. @Shondriette,
    you HAVE to get into the Jersey Shore train wreck. it'll change your life! seriously! if for no other reason that to see that there are other ethnic groups that totally play into their own stereotypes. its awesome! and thanks for missing me!!! ive missed you, and the writing. im trying not to let my life ever get too busy to write whats on my mind.

    lol its true, their lives are pretty meaning and worthless without GTL'ing and searching for juice-heads. i, on the other hand, have other things going on in my life. its just that... GTL IS part of my everything *hangs head in shame*

    better to be obsessed with myself than some worthless man? i guess...

  4. lmfao @ this epiphany!!!

    I don't necessarily tan as a hobby, I just so happen to become tan during the summer and am cool with it. I love my summer color! I enjoy the color for the time being, but I'm not into the "sport" of tanning.

    As for Jersey Shore, I actually never got into it. *GASP* All that foolery!! Yeah, I planned on getting addicted but missed a few eps and lost track. I probably just saw the premiere, and the Snooki punch. That's about it. I still can't believe I haven't gotten hooked. A mess.

  5. Jersey Shore? More like....Jersey Snore! *rimshot* Am I right? *crickets* Am I right?? *tumbleweed* But seriously, I'll pass on that show.

    The only daily ritual that I do without fail is checking to make sure I have the "holy trinity" (wallet-phone-keys) before I leave my place. I'll definitely be taking my scrawny self back to the gym now that my prelims are done. And I'm too dark to understand what tans are.