Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday Reflection: Learning to Give In

Oh, to be the work of these hands.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that I often express my ever increasing frustration with Science. It seems to me as if Science is in my life to torment me and break me down to my lowest point. After numerous failed experiments causing my research project to go nowhere fast, I swear Science is basically saying "Eff you, eff your dreams, and eff everything you thought this life was about." I don't know how Science and I got here but I often wish we could just hit the relationship reset button and get back to the way they were when we first committed at Salk Institute, sharing the bliss of a promising new relationship. Yet, every other day I find myself cursing Science out for causing me so much emotional distress. *shakes fist*

I'd be lying if I said I didn't doubt my compatibility with Science. But destiny--through a series of unlikely and coincidental events--brought us together and forced us to interact. How could we NOT be meant to be together? I guess I expected this relationship with Science to be easy, or at the very least rewarding. I knew things wouldn't always be perfect or go my way, but I didn't realize I'd end most days feeling defeated and incapable of turning things from bad to good. Even when I give my best and try my hardest, the return is sometimes nothing. What the eff, Science?

But I'm forgiving, so I resolve to make the most of even the worst situations with Science. I've come too far to give up on Science, we are in this to win this (and by "win this" I mean reach "Philosophize Deez" status). I can't stop, won't stop. So as the universe would have it, the daily devotion I read last night from my boy Joel O's book  Your Best Life Begins Each Morning, hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8
...Clay works best when it is pliable, malleable, and moldable. But if you are hard, crusty and set in your ways, God will have to pound away on that old hard clay to get out the lumps. Be willing to deal with any issues that God brings up. Work with Him in refining process rather than fighting against Him.
Whether or not you believe in the Christian faith, or adhere to any religious affiliation at all, I think the general sentiment behind this can be applicable to anybody. Sometimes it takes external forces (via negative or challenging experiences) of uncomfortable shaping and shifting to get us where we need to be. And the more stubborn and willing to change we are, the more unpleasant these external forces feel. It almost never feels good to go through this process of molding at the time; but once the process is over, the resulting product is satisfying and pleasing.

I am not always willing to be shaped and molded by my creator. But I want to be. The times I have submitted to the process, I've never regretted it and was thankful for it. I accept the challenge to continue to battle it out with Science in our "it's complicated" relationship. And while I may still whine and moan and throw my hands up in despair, one thing is certain--I will not lose. *b-girl stance*

Does anyone else feel me on this? Do you see the great good behind the unfavorable circumstances you go through? Are you always willing to be formed by your experiences, despite how bad they might seem? Or does this all seem like BS to you?

Laslty, I encourage you to meditate on this, grasshoppers...
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: first by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter." - Confucius

In my potter's hands,


  1. Why did that picture make me sing The Righteous Brothers song from Ghost? lmao

    "How could we NOT be meant to be together? I guess I expected this relationship with Science to be easy, or at the very least rewarding."

    Speak! But, I guess we always have to remember that usaully the accomplishments that we cherish the most are the ones that were most difficult to get to. Of course, that's a hindsight conclusion, but it still rings true.

    "Are you always willing to be formed by your experiences, despite how bad they might seem?"

    Girl, YES. It ain't easy to think this way while experiencing it of course because, hell, we're human. I always try to keep the idea that "everything happens for a reason" in my subconscious somewhere because yes, even bad experiences help mold me into who I am...and I have to be thankful for that. Wow, this post came in the nick (no of time because I was just talking about this with Mama Cheekie yesterday. Experienced a TERRIBLE betrayal in my family and it hurt like hell, but it truly did teach me a lesson and probably prevented me from being vulnerable to something worse in the future.

    Great post, Gemster! You'll get through it...and though it's hard to stomach now and I'm being all cliche and it's easier for me to say it as someone on the outside, but you'll be a better person for this and it WILL be rewarding!

  2. Excellent post! I've just forwarded it to all of my friends :) No matter what the drama or disappointment there is always a lesson and room for growth.

    "And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God." Zechariah 13:0

  3. @Cheekie
    LOL yeah after i posted it i thought of ghost too. doesnt help that i saw it was on tv a few days ago.... i definitely pray that things work out with you and your family member. i know feuds with family tend to be much more dramatic than they need to be but you still want the woo woo woo to resolve it all. but you're absolutely right--theres always a lesson to be learned in bad situations. sometimes you just gotta step back and see it. and while thats often easier said than done, it just has to be done! thanks for all the encouragement, cheeks, it really means a lot to me!!!! really :) *hugs*

    glad you found something meaningful in this post to share. sometimes we have to remind each other how our situations are used to make us better and there's so much encouragement in that. Lord knows I have to remind myself of this ALL THE TIME! and its funny you sight that Zechariah scripture--i have been formulating a post about this idea of "going through the fire" for a week now (heard a great sermon about it and its definitely going to be therapy to write it)

  4. You know I'm right there with you on this Science thing. Every feeling that you described are the same ones that I go through. There are a lot of times when it just doesn't seem like my research is progressing and, even though I've only been here a year, I've had a lot of questions about my compatibility with Science too.

    But taking these difficult situations and realizing that all things work together for my good helps me to always find a valuable lesson from every experience. Although some things aren't as good as they could be, there are other things that I know aren't as bad as they could be. Keep your head up cause all these challenges are just setting you up for something amazing.

    "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

  5. if anyone feels you on the frustration of science you know i do. but a week's worth of failed experiments can all vanish when that one western blot comes out perfect or that once PCR says what you want it to say. then you feel good about going to happy hour after the lab. lol