Monday, June 28, 2010
Acceptance Without Exceptions
Learning to accept what IS has been the hardest lesson (or, rather, set of lessons) I’ve ever had to experience in my life. I want to alter things, fix the broken, right the wrongs, conceal the ugly, and ignore the inevitable. I can be relentlessly unwilling to accept things for what they are when I don’t deem them as good enough. If they don’t meet my standards, if they aren’t worthy of my seal of approval, a change must come. I want to change what’s out of my control—knowing I can only control myself and my actions. It’s like an obsessive compulsive drive to make myself perfect along with everything in my presence… as impossible as the task may be. As if controlling everything/one will make me feel better about myself. The control freak-perfectionist in me wants to be in charge, wants to chart the course of life, rewrite history. Because, for whatever reason, I can’t imagine life going on, or the world continuing to spin on its axis, if I leave well enough alone.
As I get older, as I mature, as I become more spiritually aware, I realize that I’m not perfect, the people around me aren’t perfect, and wishing for a perfect world is a waste of a wish. Instead of putting all of my energy into trying to mold everything (and everyone) to my idea of what it (they) should be, I have to be willing to accept my faults, mistakes, weaknesses, blemishes, imperfections—and those of others. All I can do is work on ME and becoming a better person, regardless of the situation. I am beginning to be more comfortable with the idea to, as the Niebuhr quote says, “accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” Because, at the end of the day, que sera sera. It’s foolish of me to try and control the uncontrollable; that’s God’s work. I accept the challenge to worry about myself and work on the things for which I, solely, am responsible. So, thankfully, with each new dawn comes a new day. And as long as there is air in my lungs, I can always start afresh.
Posted by Gem of the Ocean